*sighs* :( *TW*

This post may be triggering so it has a trigger warning on it.
I'm not in the right headspace to be home alone and depressed because my boyfriend isn't home for awhile :(
I feel like I'm close to a breakdown and cutting or burning myself, not to mention, I really haven't eaten much or slept much since he isn't home :(
My cat Tallie is attached to me and missing him as well :(
 I don't want to bring in the New Year of 2015 alone in about 55 minutes. It isn't fair :( I want to have my awesome boyfriend here with me watching the ball drop at Midnight to kiss and hug and see me being silly and in my middle headspace having a glass of wine to bring in the New Year. I don't want to bring it in on my own and yet I am and I'm depressed :( I'm close to hurting myself and I don't like it at all :( I haven't hurt myself since November 27, 2010... but something tells me that is going to change tonight or tomorrow morning :(

Note: *TW* Is shorthand for trigger warning for those that don't know.