A comment earlier brought up these feelings 😔

*sighs* a comment earlier made me think of my ex-boyfriend and how...I...I'm not even really sure...it made me want to cry... a part of me still has feelings for me ex-boyfriend...I wish I was able to be friends with him, but he cut me out of his life after the way I left him...which is what the comment made me think about... *sighs* I left him the wrong way and I wish I could go back and leave him the correct way so I didn't hurt him as badly as I did...but I can't... I can only learn from it and if I ever get in another relationship not do the same thing with that guy (to be fair though...I don't see that happening)... I *sighs*... my ex-boyfriend was a good guy...he wasn't perfect...but neither was I (I'm still not...but I've grown up alot since leaving him...I grew up some while with him as well...but I grew up more after leaving him)...he was there in a time of life that I needed to learn how to be an adult and independent and I thank him for that...he was also there for one of the worst parts of my life when my G-ma Sally passed away and that...yeah...he kept me alive along with my cat Tallie (who I wish I still had, but left with him because my living here...isn't stable and that's not fair to her...) *sighs* I...yeah...just going to kinda leave this here...I needed to get it out... *sighs* I'm hoping by doing so that my mood and headspace will get out of the memories of my ex-boyfriend and how I messed up... because I'm honestly stressed enough and feeling like I'm failing living here and going to lose what I've worked for if things don't change job wise for me as well as for me continuing to make independent and responsible adult choices... (I feel like I'm struggling with that still and hate it because that won't help my taking the step to a new job...)... *sighs* memories suck...relationships suck...being an adult sucks... emotions suck... 😔