It's been a long week

Since I live close by to my Papa, and he has regressed as of two Sunday's ago, and needs round the clock care right now. I have been stressed, more so last week because I was there Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. My hours were longer then normal because of it. However this week I worked my normal days and hours give or take an hour because of having to wait till the high school girl got there to watch my Papa after me, but he did fine on Tuesday, however today (March 6, 2014), we dealt with him falling and I had to hit his life alert button and have them get the paramedics out to help get him up. Not sure how long it took for them to get there, but it felt like forever!!! As I waited with him for the paramedics to get there, I dealt with a flashback about how strong and independent he was before his stroke on December 12, 2004, and how weak and dependent he is on people now. Don't get me wrong, he can do some things on his own on his good days, but on his bad days, he depends on people more then he probably likes too and I know it frustrates and stresses him out. It frustrates and stresses me out too, because it is hard on me too, when he is having bad days. I know if it was me in his situation I couldn't do it. I wouldn't want to depend on people like he has too. It isn't a fun way to live. However, I have respect for him because it is hard to live like he does. I also am glad he is still around, because after my Grandma Sally passed away on May 9, 2012, I didn't think he would last long. Only because most couples that are older, don't last long after their husband or wife passes. I love my Papa and am ready for him to get back to having good days again, because if he doesn't that is going to make him end up in a nursing home again and I don't want to see him in one again because that would depress him so much more and frustrate him so much more. I just needed to vent a bit and reflect on the last couple weeks. I am hoping next week is a better week for my Papa :)