I feel like crap 😔 Life update from 9/11/23 to 9/14/23 (9/18/23) #kidney...

My feet and toenails currently :(

So, this isn't something I like to show people and talk about, but I want to post about it right now so that I can document what is going on and have something to show to the foot doctor (once I find one) to help me out and hopefully just go ahead and remove all 8 toenails I still have and didn't get removed back in high school like I should have done *sighs*

I have always dealt with toenail fungus and it is not something I'm proud of and is something I do my best to hide from people. My big toenails were the worst, even after I was on medication for toenail fungus, so I got them removed and chose to keep the other 8 at that time, but now I want the other 8 toenails gone. Especially the one currently on my left foot that is causing me pain (the middle toe on my left foot).

Anyways, I need to start my search for a foot doctor and see how much it will cost me to see them and remove my toenails. I hope it will be somewhat affordable and I know it won't be all at once, because I need to be able to walk, so it will most likely be one foot at a time like when they removed my big toenails.

Anyways, I'm going to go for now and I will talk to you all later. I hope I didn't gross you all out to much with the pictures of my feet and toenails. Feet gross me out so much and especially toenail fungus *sighs*

Left foot

Left foot

Right foot

Right foot

Right foot

Right foot

Left foot of the toenail causing me pain :(

Toe on my left foot causing me pain :(

Toe on my left foot causing me pain :(

Left foot

Left foot 

New issues in the life of someone who has colitis and doesn't know what is going on now

Something new I have been dealing with the last few weeks is feeling like I have a blockage on the lower right side of my stomach, but yet some of the poop is still able to pass as diarrhea, but not much. I thought it was just going to pass, because it was most likely normal and didn't feel like constipation or anything bad to worry about, however I ended up being wrong this week, because it got to where I notice the last week I wasn't passing anything and then all of a sudden it felt like there was poop ready to come out and it was a soft poop (I know this because I had to help it with toilet paper quiet a few times and even that didn't help :( ) It was acting like it was a rock and it didn't want to come out nicely like I am used to with the diarrhea the last 6 years. I was literally flashed backed to when I was a young kid and on the toilet crying and nauseated and clammy from it, because that was how it made me the last couple days, until I did try an enema because it said it would work in 1 to 5 minutes and sure enough it got some of the stuff out of me, but not without me literally screaming and crying and having to have my boyfriend hold onto me to keep me on the toilet because I wanted to come off and make it stop because it was too much to deal with...I think I sat there for an hour as I let as much come out as I could and I drank a bottle of magnesium citrate cherry flavored and followed it down with ginger ale to help hopefully get the rest of the stuff out of me.

However, that was a day ago and I still feel like I have a blockage of some sort on my lower right stomach.
I haven't been able to eat anything or drink hardly anything since all this started and I feel really weak and wore out right now, so much so that I am on the verge of on ER trip this week I think if I'm not able to get in to see my GI Dr. Outlaw ASAP. to find out what is going on with me now. Because something isn't right with me right now.

Frustrated Rant

I'm frustrated and in huge amounts of pain that my pain meds and the heating pad I'm using can't help. I've been in the ER twice this week for the pain and that didn't help figure anything out, just helped treat some of the pain I was in *sighs* :/

So, today, I called and made a follow up appointment with my GI doctor for March, and I'm hoping that when I go the stool sample that I have done will help to tell some of what is going on and also that we can do another colonoscopy and endoscopy, because I'm thinking since May of 2013 my body went from showing visible colitis to having microscopic colitis. So, I'm hoping my GI doctor can find out in March if that is what is what is what is going on and that is why I'm in huge amounts of pain *sighs* :/

Also something else that bugs me, is that the ER doctor prescribed me Bentyl and they know I have colitis and I take Apriso for it, so why would you prescribe me that? Then on top of that I tell you that I have taken it in the past before I was diagnosed with colitis and it didn't help me and made me worse when they that I had IBS *sighs* :/

Not to mention I looked up on my phone at the ER that Bentyl shouldn't be given to those that have colitis *sighs* :/

What is wrong with doctors?

Colitis pain is getting worse I think :(

Lately it has been to where my lower left side is really high and my lower right side is really high at the same time. Then they take turns at being really high on each side to torture me :( Then there are times where it seems like on the right side it is a radiating pain and it feels like it is at my belly button and up to where my gallbladder was at, then down to my lower right side :(
So, the last couple days, my boyfriend Gareth has drugged me up on my Tramadol, Methocordol, and Norton, as well as Naproxen to help get my pain down, so now I'm a bit high from all that is in me, but my pain level isn't that high, so that is a good thing right now, but being that it is 12:45 am right now and I have an appointment with my therapist at 1:00 pm today, but being that I'm constantly in pain and now high on all the meds I've been sleeping ALOT!!! So, hopefully I will be able to pull off not being high on meds when I'm talking with her about things that are going on in my life right now. I know I haven't really been taking my Celexa lately, and I don't know if I should tell her about that or not *sighs*

*sighs* Was up all night in pain :-(

Not able to pass gas or have a BM even though I have eaten a couple small meals yesterday after my colonoscopy.
Never had this issue before after my colonoscopies, so very confused.
Pain is really high and has kep me up most of the night.
Going to keep drinking lots of liquid and try and see if my gas and BM will come out by Monday, if not I'll call my GI doctors office and find out what to do.
I am thinking of taking a few laxatives to get my gas and BM moving faster at some point today!
*sighs*

Colonoscopy and endoscopy failure day today :(

Well, I started yesterday (February 11, 2015), by having a liquid only diet all day and then at 6:00 pm I had to begin this new prep to clean me out called Surprep Bowel Prep. It didn't start working on me till 8:00 pm, so that kind of sucked, but it was quick work after it. The taste was ok for the most part, however, it made me really nauseated and feeling like I was going to be sick at any given minute. Luckily I didn't get sick. I was up and down all night, then had to wake up and drink the second half of my Surprep Bowel Prep at 7:30 am, I had to have it down and the extra liquid to follow it by 9:00 am and I was almost able to do that. I drank about half of it before I had to stop because if I continued, then it would be coming out the wrong end.

I got to my appointment and signed in by 12:00 pm, like I was supposed to and I was supposed to have been back for my colonoscopy and endoscopy at 1:00 pm, but that didn't happen, because even after 7 times of being poked to find a vein, they couldn't get one. They tried 5 times in my left arm/hand/wrist and 1 time on my right arm, then 1 time on my left foot.

Since, they couldn't get a vein, and they felt bad poking me so many times, they asked if I wanted to do the procedures awake and I told them no, because it would most likely cause me to have my PTSD act up and freak me out and I didn't need that, not to mention I was already dealing with pain and feeling like I was going to be sick at any given moment.

They allowed me to leave just before 2:00 pm and told me that I would get a call later and let me know when they rescheduled me at the hospital for another one. The hospital has a few machines to help find veins that like to hide and are deep, etc. So, hopefully when I go for my next one it will actually happen and I won't get stuck 7 times again and then have to leave frustrated again like today.

I felt bad because I feel like I wasted my time preparing for the procedures and my boyfriends time, not to mention their time. I also feel like I wasted money because the procedure didn't work out today. I guess my first two worked out better for me because they were done in the hospital where they have ways of finding veins that like to hide and especially so when you are dehydrated.

My GI doctor is finally working with me!!!

When I first started seeing him, he didn't seem like he was wanting to work with me or believe that I really have colitis, but now after going to the ER last year in October or November and him laughing it off and not wanting to do a follow up appointment for me, he seems to have changed since I was in the ER again yesterday for my current colitis flare up and I had a follow up appointment today with him, where he actually listened to what has been going on lately and realizing that stuff has changed since my last GI doctors in VA. So, he set me up a colonoscopy and endoscopy for the 12th of February to see what is going on himself instead of just going off of what my last GI doctors have in my chart about what they found out.

2/3/15 - ER visit

Hardly any pain right now...can it really be?

Well, I went to the doctor last Thursday, November 14, 2014, and ended up getting prescribed a muscle relaxer and just got it picked up tonight and took it around 7:30pm and realized the last hour or so, that my pain level has gone down in my left calf and in my back and in my colon where I have the constant lower left side pain and lower right sided pain (that has been constant since November 3, 2014).

My pain level is usually between a 2 and 5 for my colon pain from my colitis every day, so having it be lower or dull is really nice right now.

My calf pain ever since I got back from my weekend at Camp Carefree with my cousin this year has been about a constant 5 or 6 on the pain scale, so having it be pretty dull is really nice right now.

Right now, I hardly have any back pain going on as well and that causes me a 5 usually on the pain scale.

The thing causing me the most pain right now is my left knee and left ankle where my arthritis is really bad and it is at about a 7 on the pain scale.

I know this is probably not going to last long, but I can be hopeful that this new med will be a helpful thing to help with my constant chronic pain right?

Intense pain from Align the probiotic :(

My GI doctor gave me Align the probiotic to try, but I tried it one day and it intensified my pain from the normal 5 to 3 where it usually hoovers all day to a 10 and above and to the point that I was going to have my boyfriend take me to the ER to bring it down.

Has anyone else dealt with that after taking a probiotic???

I'm afride to take it again because I don't want the intense pain again :(

What would you do? Would you take it again and see if it was just a one time thing or would you avoid taking it again at all costs?

Venting about pain and health issues

I hate health issues that deal with your GI tract and stomach. They are frustrating for a few reasons and I am sick of them and want them to go away now! Hell I wouldn't wish them on my worse enemy because they are tortuous!

I hate having pain 24/7! Especially pain that doctors won't treat because I don't want to go see them and then when I do go see them they just assume I am drug seeking and I'm not. I just want something to control my pain, since what I am on now doesn't do shit for me.

I also hate the joint pain that comes with having GI tract and stomach issues. It sucks because once again it is pain that doctors don't treat because they don't see it and don't believe it is there for me all the time *sighs*

Why do I have to deal with health issues that doctors don't want to treat? I don't deserve this :( I want to be pain free again.

Sorry for venting, but dealing with constant pain and feeling sick all the time when you look fine otherwise sucks and gets to you sometimes :(

New colitis pain because I'm stressed? Not sure, but I don't like it :(

I have a new pain that the only way I can describe it is by saying it is, "sporadic sharp and right next to my belly button on the left side." For most of yesterday it would just come and go for a couple seconds, but cause me extreme pain when it showed up that made it feel longer and made me feel sick. Then at 9:30pm it was a constant pain, so I took a couple 500 mg Naproxen and a couple 50 mg Tramadol and passed out in pain because of it, but all throughout the night it was come and go with it and now it feels like my colon is on FIRE because of it and I feel sick because of the pain :(

I'm sure it is from my colitis because I have been stressed so much the last couple weeks from a few family members, even though I don't feel stressed, I guess my colon does and so it is beginning to cause me extreme pain and sickness again :(

I'm just hoping it doesn't get me sick for real because I will end up in the ER again and I don't want that :( I have too much to do and I don't want to be that sick :( Besides they can't do much for me at that point besides try to manage it to where I'm not sick and then send me home to deal with the constant pain.

Sorry, just need to vent because I don't like to tell my boyfriend what is going on all the time since he has his own stress to deal with right now with trying to get on disability and get his car tags updated since we moved last year and they are outdated :/ He can't get a job and that stresses him out :( He owes the IRS money and is afraid since he can't pay them up front all the money that they are going to freeze his accounts to get the money he owes :( Which means all we would have left of his money is enough for five more months of rent where we live.

I guess another stressor for me is also that I have a tendency to horde some things and not want to let them go because I think I may need them in the future for something. Also the fact that I am trying to clean and get organized and downsize more, but since I am a person that cleans in one spot for a bit, then gets bored, I take a break for coffee or a walk, then go back to cleaning another spot in a totally different part of the house *sighs*

At least my boyfriend balances me when it comes to cleaning, because he can focus on one area and get it cleaned up even if he needs to take a break for a drink or a walk.

I think my colitis is getting worse :(

I think my colitis is spreading up to under my left ribs in my colon, because I have a constant sharp stabbing pain there and constantly bloated from it I still have the lower left pain from my colitis as well and I'm not constipated, since I poop every day a few times to all day everyday. Not to mention it is constant diarrhea from my colitis.
I take Apriso for my colitis.
It could be swelling of my spleen as well as something else, but I'm thinking it is my colitis getting worse. I am going to talk to the doctor on February 6, 2014 when I go in for a check up and find out what is going on with my left ankle from the x-ray's that were done this month. However, in my opinion, it doesn't look like anything *sighs* I mean it looks like it may be my arthritis getting worse :( If that is the case then it is spreading to my left knee as well *sighs* I am going to need some sort of pain management to deal with the pain between my arthritis and my colitis, because the tramadol and napraxon do nothing for either, much less both when they are acting up :/
For those that don't know what colitis is, you can read more about it at this link.

Update on my gallbladder surgery from today

My boyfriend was told by the doctor after my surgery that my gallbladder had scarring on it due to the inflamation and stilcking to other organs, so that was most likely the cause of my pain for the last year.
Guess I will find out in a week or two from the sounds of things while I recover from my surgery.

Also, am not allowed to have sex for a week and not allowed to lift anything for 4 weeks. I also have to stay away from fatty and spicy foods for awhile.

I also, have great caretakers right now and will be going back to my doctor for a follow up appointment on May 31, 2012!!!